A Pile of Cake® Still Tastes Good

Laughing with Yemi: Lady and the Tramp

2012-02-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

Yemi: Mom, let's play Lady and the Tramp.
Me: How do you play that game?
Yemi: You be the lady walking on the tramp and I'll be the dog.

As you can clearly see, she has never seen the movie...

Resolution Check In

2012-02-03T12:54:00.000-07:00

Since January just ended (I've been thinking about this post for a few days), I thought I would do a check-in to see how I was doing with 2012's resolutions. If I do this once a month, I can keep them at the forefront of my mind and also stay accountable. Constant reminding is the only way for me to stick with any goals.

1. Read 12-20 books. I have finished one book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. A review will be coming soon. I have started two more, Desiring God by John Piper and Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim and Charles Fay. I'm not usually a multiple books at one time kinda girl, but Desiring God is a lot to take in at one time and the other one is an easy re-read. So I'm definitely on pace to accomplish this one.

2. Memorize 24 Bible verses. I'm doing pretty well at this one too. I've been reviewing regularly and have added 3 to my stack already. I will be adding Romans 6:22 over the next two weeks. It says, "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life." This goes along with my theme for the year, which is that my life is not my own.

3. Get back to Pre-Yemi weight. This is my worst one. I have lost some weight, but I'm not really seeing much difference in how my clothes fit. I've been trying to watch my portion sizes, but I really need to get to the gym and burn some calories. This will need to be a focus for February.

4. Buy a house. I have contacted a realtor and are working on getting some loan paperwork filled out. I took the first step, but need to persevere through the not fun parts too.

5. Blog more often. I have been doing this. It hasn't been once a week, but considering my past blogging habits, it has definitely increased.

6. Give Thanks. This one is going very well. I have been writing 2-3 things I am thankful each night in my journal. If I miss a day, I make up for it the next day. I'm very excited to have a very large list of blessings at the end of the year.

So, I know it has only been 33 days since New Year's, but I haven't given up yet. I can make 11 more months, right? How are you doing on your resolutions? Need a "check in?"

Laughing with Yemi: Lingerie

2012-01-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

The other day Yemi, John and I were at Target picking up some things. As we were heading to the check out lines, we passed the women's clothing section. Yemi looked over and saw a Valentine's Day themed little number like this:

Yemi: I wish you could wear that Mommy.
Me: I know someone else who wishes that... (looking at John)
Yemi: Grandma?

New Year's Resolutions

2012-01-09T12:02:00.001-07:00

This year I've heard a lot of people say that they don't like to make New Year's Resolutions. Why not use everyday to set goals and make changes to make your life better? While I'm not arguing with the thought behind that, I happen to like New Year's Resolutions. I like hard set beginnings and ends and the calendar is a great tool for that. A new year is such a good time for the clock to start ticking again.

Like most people, I end up abondoning my New Year's goals somewhere between January 15th and April 1st. But each year brings the hope that this will be the year I stick with it and make it a habit. I will finally lose the weight, keep the kitchen clean, read those books or play more games with my kid. This year I could say, "Nevermind. I'm not going to do it anyway. I'll wait until July to set my goals so that no one else will be watching when I fail." But no. I will set my resolutions and I will post them publicly so that others can ask me how they're going. There's nothing like peer pressure to make me stick to something, right? So here they are, some of the things I hope to accomplish during 2012.

1. Read 12-20 books. Why 12-20? Well, last year I set a goal to read 26 books, one every two weeks of the year. While this is an incredibly slim number to some, this was too lofty for me. I like to read, but the time set aside for reading in my life is small and I'm not a very fast reader. I wanted my new goal to be 20 books, but that still sounds pretty daunting. So, 12 is my minimum. Even I can read one book a month, right?

2. Memorize 24 Bible verses this year. I'm part of a little group in my church called Moxie Memorizers. The goal is to memorize a new verse twice a month. You can read about it here if you're interested in what it's all about. Last year I fizzled out pretty hard, but I am determined to stay strong this year.

3. Get back to my pre-Yemi weight. Maybe it's because I'm home more and have access to more food (although I'm not much of a snacker) or maybe it's because I turned 30 and my metabolism slowed, but life after Yemi has included a new wardrobe. There are some clothes in my closet I would love to fit back into.

4. Buy a house. I am so ready to own a home and hope that's in the plan for this year.

5. Blog more often. As you can see with a quick scroll down, I gave up blogging for about a year and a half. I hope to blog at least once a week (okay, at least every two) in this year.

6. Give thanks. I'm about half way through One Thousand Gifts and my friend Jenn, who bought me the book, also bought me a journal to go along with it. I plan to write at least one thing I'm thankful for (hopefully more) each day. To reinforce my efforts, my friend Alysa over at Inspired Results, has started her #365Thanks campaign that asks everyone to do the same thing.

Anyone else proudly set New Year's Resolutions? If so, good luck! This could be your year! I'd love to hear some of them...

New Year's Eve Paella & Tapas Party

2012-01-06T23:09:00.000-07:00

So I know New Year's Eve was almost a week ago, but I'm still proud of the party we helped throw. It featured Paella and Tapas and was delightful. And if you know anything about the Weatherfords, you know that a party is only made better by adding a theme. So, ¡Viva España! Here are the highlights.

These are but a few of the red and yellow decorations that our friend Sarah put up in her house. She spent so much time making her house look beautiful and it was definitely worth it. She and her husband hosted the party at their humble abode.

The talented Sarah also has a knack for writing beautifully, so she got to make the welcome sign. BTW, this red chalkboard sign was made by my husband from homemade chalkboard paint. It worked really well! Thanks Pinterest for the tip!

This is a bit of the tapas that people brought. We had bacon-wrapped goat cheese filled dates, chorizo and fig skewers, stuffed mushrooms, traditional Spanish cookies and chickpea/shrimp skewers. Everything was delicious, even the stuff that sounded weird.

It wouldn't be a Spanish themed party without the Sangria. We had four different kinds!

One of the stars of the party was the fire pit. This was built by Andrew and John in order to cook the paella outside. The paella was good, but I think John just had more fun being near the fire.

Me and mine enjoying ourselves. It may look like John is crying for joy for the new year to start, but actually, the smoke from the fire pit was just bothering his eyes. I made him take a picture with me anyway. The other one is my sparkly daughter.

I was too ~~tired~~ into the moment to remember to take a picture at midnight. I love my party loving friends that indulge our need for a themed party on every occasion. May 2012 be filled with many occasions to celebrate!

2011 in Review

2012-01-02T09:36:00.001-07:00

To be honest, reflection on a whole year is very difficult for me. I am not a big picture kind of person. I'm detail oriented and very compartmentalized. During a year, I will deal with a situation or season in life and then put it behind me. It does not blend into the next thing and to picture a whole year as a whole takes a lot of effort in remembering. In fact, because I put things behind me so completely, I sometimes forget the event altogether.

I do know that 2011 taught me many lessons. Much of it was difficult, but we were very blessed as well. Here I've attempted to list some of what I've learned in my past year.

1. At the beginning of the year last year, I decided my word for the year would be Consistency. I was really trying to develop some discipline in many areas of my life and this was how I was going to focus. Like many resolutions, I did really good until about April. While consistency won't be my focus word this year, it is something I know I still need to add to my life.

2. John's mom passed away in April. There's so much to say on this topic, but there's a lot to learn from watching a spouse go through this kind of loss. There's heartbreak and grief, but also a certainty that she is with her Savior and not in pain any longer. We learned the need to have grace with those around us and also the abounding love that our community has for us. While we were in Kansas several times during this period, our community cleaned our apartment, fed us, encouraged us, loved us and provided for us in ways I could not have even imagined to ask for. Their initiative and caring deeply moved us. At a time when it was difficult to justify living across the country from our families, God used the people in our lives to confirm that we are still where he wants us.

3. A terrible job and resulting unemployment. This summer was a rough one. While John was still grieving his mother, he was working at a most wretched company. I do not use that word lightly. I am still working toward forgiving the people he worked with for how they treated him. It had been bad for a while, but in April/May/June, it became unbearable. I will spare you the details, but in late May the stress started to make him physically ill and we went through a very trying week of praying through what the future held for him. God made it very clear that he should quit, even though there was no hope of another job lined up. John obeyed and was unemployed for June and July. I work part time, so our financial situation was a bit stressful, but I entered a time of relying on God that I had not experienced in a while. In an economy where unemployment could last months or years, God blessed us with John's new job as a Graphic Design/Yearbook teacher at a private Christian school August 1st. There are so many lessons for John in this story, but I'll let him blog about that. For me, it stretched my faith to new limits, deepened my trust in God's provision and allowed me a dependence on Him that normal life does not force me into very often. The worship song Always by Kristian Stanfill was introduced in our church during this time and my heart has sung that song so deeply that it will always have a special meaning for me.

4. Parenting. While Yemi has been one of the best decisions we ever made, this summer was an exceptionally trying time with her. During our stress of unemployment, her behavior was getting out of control and her temper tantrums were beyond what I knew what to do with. Beyond the typical 4 year old tantrums, there was an anger and an out-of-control kind of aspect to it that scared me. I learned so much about parenting, having grace and relying on people in my community who know more than I do. God also allowed John to start working just in time for us to get her into a wonderful preschool, which has given her the social and mental stimulation that she was so desperate for. We came to the other side of this and she is often very pleasant and funny and a joy these days.

5. Women's Retreat. On our annual women's retreat, Angel talked to us about our stories. To keep mine short, it was a wonderful time of God speaking to me and instilling a deep gratitude and appreciation for my own story. For full disclosure, I have often wanted a more “dramatic” story to share, but God let me see the beauty in my own story, that he is the Author and it is exactly as it is meant to be. I am still processing and learning how to share it boldly and use it for his glory.

A very full year for me and mine. I'm sure 2012 will be no different and I'm praying that at the beginning of 2013, I will be able to look back and see how I've become a deeper, wiser, more Christ like woman. Happy New Year!

2012 Begins My Blog Again

2012-01-01T11:22:00.002-07:00

So I've been considering starting my blog again and a new year seems a good time to do it. I hope to make this my place for all my musings and things I wish to make public. Things about my family, verses I memorize, books I read, recipes I make, crafts I create, parties I help throw. If anyone is interested, stop by every once in a while. I hope to be more consistent than in the past, but I guess everyone always has good intentions at the beginning of the year. :)

Introducing Our Ethiopian Princess!

2010-04-08T20:41:00.013-07:00

Isn't she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? We found out at about 7:00 this morning that we finally passed court! So she is officially ours according to the country of Ethiopia. Now just to get her home! Here are some wonderful things you should know about our daughter (I can allow myself to say that now).

Her name is Yemiserach (Yemi) Ruth Weatherford. We are going to keep her first name as her Ethiopian name since she's already 2 1/2 years old. She is living in our adoption agency's transition home where she appears to be very well taken care of and loved. She likes to sing her ABC's and "spiritual songs," as they put it. She can climb on climbers and the nannies say she is funny. She is a good eater and she likes bananas and oranges (John and I haven't eaten an orange in years, so someone will have to show me how to pick out a good one), injera (Ethiopia's version of bread) and macaroni.

I know many of you are wondering what's next. They are going to get her visa together, which takes 3 weeks. Once that has been finalized, then we should know our travel dates. They told us it could be anywhere between 6-12 weeks from now. We have a lot to do in that time, but we are obviously so excited! I know with all my heart that everything has worked out with the most perfect timing for a purpose. She is going to fit into our family just the way she is supposed to. Thank you for all your continued support and prayers. Continue to pray for her health and safety. Pray that we would be able to prepare for her well and that we will be able to bond with her right away.

I'm so glad to be able to share her picture with all of you now. I think she's gorgeous! I can't wait until you can see her in real life!

Some news, but not the big news...

2010-03-28T12:58:00.003-07:00

Well, some stuff has happened in our lives since my last post. We still haven't passed court, but our next court date is April 8th. The Ministry of Women and Children's Affairs in Ethiopia did write the recommendation letter we needed from them, but it was missing one of the clearances we needed to be in it. They will rewrite the letter and hopefully we will have everything we need to pass next week.

For some good news though, John is working at the puzzle company again. They haven't hired him back full time with benefits, but we are still praying for that to come. But in the meantime, he is working (actually 6 days a week because he spending Saturdays at the art gallery still). I know this helps his psyche and we are able to save some more money before we leave for Ethiopia, which is a good, good thing.

We made tee-shirts to raise money for the adoption and they came in and look marvelous! I will be giving them to people who ordered them soon. John is so talented!

Thank you all for praying with us. We were disappointed that we didn't pass court last week, but not discouraged. I have complete faith that God is doing something so great in our lives right now and He is going to bring our family together at the exact right time. In the meantime, please pray that our little girl will continue to stay healthy and safe in the transition home. That the nannies will love on her and she will be able to bond with one of her caretakers. Pray that God will continue to prepare her heart for her new home and that He will prepare ours for her so that we can all bond perfectly as if she was with us all her life.

Not Yet

2010-02-22T21:33:00.002-07:00

So, our third court date was today. Its result was the same as the two before it. The lady from the adoption agency said that Ethiopia is getting ready for elections there and it delayed some of our paperwork. It is yet another reminder that we have very little control over this process. I often wonder how we would be dealing with this if we hadn't gone overseas for the summer in 2002.

Before leaving for that trip, and throughout the summer, God taught us that we are not the ones in control. It is easy to remember overseas, especially when you are not in a Western country where you don't speak the language. Things are done differently and our time frames are not their time frames. We knew all this when we decided to adopt internationally. And even though we are not adopting from East Asia, the fact remains- we have no control. We do not have the right to time frames or to expect our paperwork to be worked when we want it to. I had no idea that this process would take over three years when we started, but I've known for a while that God only shows us one step at a time. He does that in his wisdom because we can't handle the whole picture at once.

I think in America we have gotten a lot better at acting like we are in control. We drive our own cars because mass transportation is too unpredictable (at least in the cities I've lived in). We make sure we have choices and we are entitled to things. We are entitled to have things "our way" and when we want it. We will complain when things are not the way we expect (remind me to tell you about a man at Taco Bell who complained to the manager because his nachos did not look like the ones in the picture). But it's all just show. We really don't control as much as we like to believe. And John and I have no control over this adoption.

The comforting fact, and one I have to constantly ask for grace to remember, is that God IS in control. There is nothing that happens outside him allowing it. And he loves our little girl way more than we can and yet he allows her to stay in the transition home away from her forever family. How can that be? Shouldn't he just teleport her home so we can start our lives together? While that would be nice in theory, I know he has something better planned. Her time there is shaping who she will be. And what He is doing in our lives right now is shaping how we will parent. And what I am most sure of, is that at the end of this whole thing, His name will be praised more than I have ever praised it before. My faith will be deeper, His truth will be more real and my reliance on Him will be stronger. And while I call him Jehovah jireh now in faith and hope that He will provide, I know that someday soon I will be shouting that from the rooftops because I have seen it happen in unexpected and phenomenal ways.

And then we can tell our daughter of the amazing things God has done in our family to bring us together. How we wanted her and thought about her and prayed for her for over three years before we even got to see her in person. We can tell of how he provided $5000 from nowhere so we could bring her home (actually, more like $20,000) and how he gave her dad the perfect job at just the right time. So while it is disappointing that we have to wait 2 more weeks to see if we pass court, God already knows when it is going to happen. He has things timed out in such a way that He gets the glory and not us.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Court Date Phone Call

2010-02-01T08:47:00.001-07:00

I told you that I would let you all know as soon as we knew our court date, so here's the post. I didn't lie, this is the first time we found out about court, but it turns out that it already happened. We had our first court date today (Ethiopia time). Apparently we got missed on the round of phone calls or something because when the agency called this morning to let us know that we did not pass court today, they were trying to give us the news gently. I was more confused than anything because I didn't know if they were talking about our court date or some other thing that I didn't know about.

So, we didn't pass this time, but our new court date is on February 9 (so be praying that we pass then). The reason we didn't pass has nothing to do with our paperwork or us, so that is good news. Because of our daughter's family circumstances in Ethiopia (which I can't give the details of) the judge requested additional paperwork to prove that she's actually okay to be adopted. Ethiopia is very careful that the children they are sending out of the country have not been abducted, etc.

The lady at the agency said that they expect to have everything they need by the ninth and that they will call to let us know how it goes. So, court is coming up much fast than we thought. She said there is no way to know just yet what our travel dates will be, but most families have been traveling 5-6 weeks after they pass court. That would put us at mid- to late March! Crazy! That means we have a lot to do and a lot of money to get in a short amount of time. Luckily, with the week of prayer and fasting, God has really calmed my heart about everything and is showing me that he will provide what we need for her to get home.

Thanks so much for praying, I will keep this updated with any more news!

2010-01-25T22:11:00.003-07:00

So tonight we were getting everything ready to send in to USCIS (immigration) to get our clearance updated. When we originally filled out our clearance forms, they were for a child from birth to 24 months. Since our child is now over 24 months, this will not work. They literally won't let her in the country if she does not match our paperwork. So, we were sending in the necessary items to get this updated to 3 years of age. While going through our paperwork, we discovered that we never sent in the updated homestudy that we had done in November. Each update you do has to get sent in to USCIS as well.

So, we had a bit of a panic attack when we realized this and were trying to figure out if this was a big deal or not. We don't actually know for sure, so we would like you all to pray that USCIS will get everything they need on this attempt and our oversight would not delay the process. We think that it will be okay because our homestudy (as far as immigration goes) was not actually supposed to expire until June or so. Please pray that this will go smoothly!

We have not heard about a court date or travel dates yet, but hope to hear sometime this week. I will let you know when we do. We are praying for our little girl a lot this week- that she remains as happy as she looks in her pictures.

Referral is here!

2010-01-24T10:44:00.003-07:00

I didn't update this right away because there were so many people we wanted to tell in person. Then time just got away from me I guess. We got our referral on December 23, 2009. A referral is when they refer a specific child to the adopting family and they can either accept that child or not. They send medical records and pictures and what they know about his/her background. So John got a phone call from our adoption agency, America World, the day before Christmas Eve to let us know that they had our referral and they would be emailing it to us that day. It was so great that it happened that day because it was the last day the office was open until after New Year's!

John called me to let me know because I was out with my mom's side of the family having our annual Women's Holiday Lunch. We checked the email later that day together and got to see pictures of what might possibly be the most beautiful little 2 year old that ever lived! Until she's officially ours, we can't post details about her, but we will put pictures up as soon as we can. She has beautiful big eyes and she looks sooo happy in her pictures. We are ecstatic of course and mailed back our acceptance letter as soon as we could!

So, what now? Well, our agency is setting up a court date in Ethiopia. This is where a judge will look over all our paperwork and decide whether we can be this child's parents. We don't have the date of when this will happen, but we should know very soon. Then our agency will set our tentative travel dates (we don't actually book travel until we pass court of course). We travel 2-4 weeks after we pass court.

My mind has been going crazy lately about all this. I'm so excited to be able to finally have a face and a name to go along with all my daydreams and prayers. When you don't know how old your child will be when you get her, it is hard to imagine things (Will she be walking yet? Will she need a crib or a bed? Will she still drink out of a bottle?) Now that I have an age and face, I have been imagining so much more. Also, John is still looking for employment that is full time and as the time draws near we are both getting more anxious about it. I go through waves of believing that God is going to provide something right at the right time- he will show his glory in a way that only he can! And at other times, I will admit I'm frustrated that he hasn't done it in my timing. I only allow fleeting thoughts about what it will look like if John doesn't find something soon- but I feel deep down that God put a desire for me to be able to be the primary care taker of my daughter and he will provide a way for me to do it.

This week is the 6th annual Week of Prayer at our church, Second Mile. The whole community prays and fasts together. I really feel like God is going to reveal himself to John and me more than he has before, especially on this issue. I read a blog yesterday of a family that used our agency and adopted a one year old last year. It was amazing to see their videos and read their thoughts and experiences. One thing that stood out to me was how well taken care of the children seemed to be at the transition home. Their nannies love them and really showed it. That makes me so happy I start to cry every time I think about it. Even if we can't go get her for a few more months, she is in good hands. The kids seem to be individuals to the people taking care of them- not just another child. This makes me soooo glad!

Thank you for praying for us during this time. Remember to pray for a way of provision for our family and for our little girl to be loved and healthy while we anxiously wait to bring her to her forever home. Please also pray that I would really process this all during this week as I do have a tendency to ignore things that are hard. Let me feel the full emotions that God has for me, this week especially!

On Deck

2009-11-04T21:36:00.002-07:00

So yesterday John and I received our "On Deck" email from our adoption agency. Exciting. This basically lets us know that they think we are getting close to getting a referral and want to make sure that we have all our paperwork in order. This is what the email said about a referral.

"Estimated Referral Timeframe

While there are many unknowns in the referral process, and this email gives no dates or guarantees, America World anticipates that your family could receive a referral within the next one to three months. Referrals arrive sporadically throughout the month."

The email itself was much longer and I won't bore you with all the other details we have to worry about. It feels weird that this might happen soon because we've been in such a holding pattern for so long. Please continue to pray for us and our little girl. Thank you so much!

It's been a while...

2009-10-26T21:44:00.002-07:00

Sorry it's been a while for all of you following this. We haven't had a lot going on in the world of the adoption for a while. Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. Since March we have been waiting and waiting. But it hasn't been as bad as one might think. We've been reading books on our list for the adoption agency and they have been really good. Since neither John or I were adopted, it is good to learn what issues might come with an adopted child. Also, John is again on the hunt for a job, but nothing has come along yet.

We had our homestudy update a few weeks ago where our social worker came over to our home and made sure that nothing had changed too much since her last visit. We had rearranged our bedroom and added a bookshelf (she noticed both!) but I don't think that's enough to warrant too much of a change in our homestudy. It was really nice to talk to her and be able to ask her questions in person and it really started to feel like this might really happen. After we talked with her we emailed our case worker at our agency's home office and she said that the current wait for healthy females from Ethiopia right now is about 9-11 months. That means that if we stay on schedule, we could receive a referral sometime between mid December and mid February! That is very exciting, but also kind of scary. It would be wonderful if God would see fit to give John a full time job before we got a referral. Also, since we have been working on this for almost 3 years now, it is weird to think that it might really happen. Crazy!

Anyway, those are just some of my thoughts on this right now and an update for everyone. It has been a long journey, but having kids usually is I hear. Thanks so much, we'll let you know when we get any information!

We've hit another mile stone!

2009-03-22T09:41:00.002-07:00

So, we finally mailed our dossier at the beginning of this month. The adoption agency received it (meaning, it did not get lost in the mail!) and reviewed its contents. We had to resend a couple of items (neither were a big deal) and they told John that everything was good to go. Our case worker told John that they would be sending it off to Washington DC this past Friday and then off to Ethiopia.

However... we got an email yesterday that said they have sent our entire dossier off to ETHIOPIA as of Friday. So, it's on its way to the Ethiopian government and our 7-12 month time clock can finally start ticking. We will be trying to read as many books as possible and prepare for the arrival of a referral.

Please pray that the paperwork will go quickly through the hands of the Ethiopian government, that there will be no problems and that we can get a referral as quickly as possible. After we accept a referral, we travel eight weeks later to go get her. So it's possible we would get a referral as soon as late October (but it could be longer grandparents)! Obviously John and I were very excited and hope you all can share in our joy as well. Thanks to everyone who has been on this journey with us, we couldn't do it without you.

Frustration

2009-02-01T09:32:00.002-07:00

I titled this blog Frustration because that is the best way to describe yesterday. It's really not anyone's fault, but John and I had reviewed all of our paperwork a week ago yesterday and decided that it was very do-able to mail our dossier off yesterday. We had some final paperwork to get done this week and then we would be able to get the last of our stuff notarized yesterday at the bank and mail it. Yeah! We were excited all week and finished typing some letters, got our police clearance done and asked our very accommodating friends to (yes, again) get their letters of reference re-notarized since the year time limit had passed. Have I mentioned that we have wonderful friends and family? We were all set and yesterday morning we got everything together and were double-checking our instructions for the dossier when we discovered that two of our forms for the dossier have to be certified.

Now for all of you who have not adopted internationally, getting something certified is when you go and get something notarized and then you have to send it in to the Secretary of State for the state it was notarized in so that he/she can certify that the notary was an actual notary in that state and not just someone off the street with a fake notary stamp. Whew. We actually did have this done for our birth certificates and marriage certificate, but didn't realize that we had to do it for these two forms as well. So, after some disappointment and a lot of stress (with two of us reading about 20 pages of instructions for this packet, it got overwhelming), we went to the bank where a very nice notary helped us with about 8 documents. We will mail the forms on Monday to be certified and when we get those back, we should finally be ready to mail it all in. Hopefully we've done everything else right!

Some people ask me why Angelina Jolie doesn't have to go through all the paperwork to adopt. My guess is that she does have to do the same paperwork that we do. Except for the fact that she is probably not the one doing it. She probably has hired someone really good at organizing to get it all done speedy quick. I'm trying to be content with the timing God has for us. John and I were talking last night and we are fully convinced that if we had gotten her earlier, it wouldn't have worked out as well. I might not have been able to stay home with her, or we might have bought a house that was too expensive that we'd be stuck in now, or it might just have been the wrong child. God is teaching us more than ever that we do not have control over this no matter how much we want to and that His timing is better than anything we could imagine. Still, I want to meet my little girl very soon, so please continue to pray that we would get the paperwork finished as soon as possible!

Finally, an update!

2009-01-01T10:34:00.002-07:00

Okay, I'm sorry for the long lapse since my last post. The paperwork part isn't going as fast as we would like, so sometimes it's discouraging to get on here and announce that we really have no news... We do have some news, though not as good as we would like.

We submitted our immigration paperwork to the USCIS back in November and were pleased to see that it had been processed and waiting for us when we returned from Christmas vacation. The United States Government has now approved us as adoptive parent and (presumably) won't try to take our child from us when we bring her back to the U.S. This is a good thing. Also, we got our marriage certificate and both birth certificates authenticated by their respective Secretaries of State, so that is another thing off the list.

We have a few more things we know we need to do. We are waiting for our case worker to return from vacation (Monday) to tell us if there are anythings we do not know we need to do before we send all our paperwork to Virginia (our adoption agency's headquarters). Once we are able to do that, they send it to Washington, DC, where the US Government looks at it again and then it will be sent on to Ethiopia where it will be translated into Amharic and processed. This process can take anywhere from 7-12 months we are being told.

Please pray that we would complete this paperwork quickly as things do have time limits and will start to expire throughout this year. With all the talk this Christmas, I don't know what our families will do if we do not have a little girl by next December 25. We, too, are very anxious of course as well.

I will try to write soon to post all the great gifts we've been receiving already. We have so much support in this, it's unbelievable. I don't know how else we would be doing all this! Thanks so much for your love and prayers.

We Had Our Home Study!

2008-09-06T10:44:00.002-07:00

Or at least the first one. Our social worker did come over last Saturday and inspect our apartment, our apartment's pool, and us. It turns out that we have plenty of space for a child, the fence surrounding the pool at our complex is actually taller than it needs to be and she didn't make any weird comments about us either. Seems like things are going well at this point.

We each have to meet with her individually, but that should happen this week for both of us. Then she will send our home study to the courts so that we can get re-certified as adoptive parents (Arizona is apparently the only state that requires this). We can now start on the immigration paperwork and the rest of the stuff we need for our dossier.

There seems to be a little bit more to do in the way of paperwork, but these people seem to know what they are doing much more than the other adoption agency (or at least they are communicating those things to us better). So, even though we have had to start over, it should be done correctly when it is finally done.

Things to pray for:
1) That we can finish the rest of the paperwork with as few delays as possible.
2) That our doctor's office can fill out the forms correctly this time (yes, we have to go back to that wretched place and have them fix the forms they filled out. I would like to blame the doctor 100%, but I do think it is partly the agency's fault for not putting all the instructions on the forms the first time).
3) That we can prepare emotionally and spiritually for the waiting process once we get through this.

New Home Study Time

2008-08-27T18:22:00.004-07:00

Okay, so barring any other unexpected delays, we should be having our home study this Saturday at 11:00am. We have (only by the grace of God) kept our apartment clean this week and should only have to vacuum and dust (and maybe mop the kitchen) before our visit. It should be a little less hectic at least.

John has been working back at MasterPieces, but only temporarily. They need some help during the holiday season (believe it or not, companies are already getting things ready for Christmas). It is as good a way to make a little extra money as any. We are still asking God for some direction as far as permanent employment goes, so you can still be praying for that for us. We are seriously looking at starting our own business (with a little help from the Lings) where John and Andrew would design freelance and also do things like wedding invitations, stationary, etc. Please keep us in your prayers- and don't forget our little girl as well. Thank you so much!

Pile of Cake®...

2008-08-23T10:41:00.003-07:00

So, those of you that follow this blog on a regular basis may be checking in to see how our home study went today. Maybe you've been praying for us and this was a highlight day. Well, we appreciate your prayers and that is why we're going to ask you to keep on praying. We did not have our visit today as planned. About a half hour before our social worker was supposed to arrive to opine about our prospective parenting capabilities, she had a family emergency and had to reschedule.

The good news is that our apartment is completely clean! So anyone who wants to hang out at our place tonight is welcome. This is an anomaly that may not last long...

A Minor Setback...

2008-08-21T17:19:00.002-07:00

As is becoming custom in this process, something has changed yet again. I think I'm really getting sick of that word- Change. I don't know how we would be getting through this process if God hadn't given BOTH of us the strength of adaptability. We learned today that our first home study was not quite complete enough for our new agency (who knows how Ethiopia would view it?) and so we are no longer able to do just an update. We have to do the whole thing over, which will include three separate visits by the social worker. I'm not sure how everyone has such different requirements, but we are trusting that the people we are working with now are the correct ones so that when all of this is over, we have done things the way they need to be.

Our first visit is still this Saturday (at 11:00 am local time for those pray-ers out there). However, this is going to be quite a bit more expensive than an update would have been (like 4 times more) and obviously take more time. Please pray for our sanity! We have quite a bit of money saved up from before John lost his job and I know God will provide financially, but I was pretty excited to get things moving. Please pray that things will go well at the visits, that we will not be nervous, that our house will finish getting clean, and that things will go quickly.

One other note is that John was cleaning today and his back starting hurting very badly. He is a trooper and is continuing on with some mild pain pills, but it is slowing him down a bit and increasing my stress. Pray that his back would feel better and we could continue as normal. Most of all, pray that our dependence will be focused on God and not on ourselves. All of this is most likely a reminder to trust our Provider for a child and not an agency or ourselves to get us one. Thanks for all your support and encouragement- every little bit helps!

Home Study Update

2008-08-16T08:04:00.003-07:00

As many of you know, John and I have been working on paperwork with the (short-term) goal of being able to schedule our Home Study Update. Well my friends, we have reached our goal. We will meet with our new social worker next Saturday so she can check us and our humble abode out and give her opinion on whether we are capable of raising a child. We are excited as we have been waiting for this step for a few months now.

Please pray for us as we will be scrambling to clean our apartment this week (a mighty feat for anyone who has not seen our spare bedroom), but we didn't want to delay this process any longer. Please pray that we will be calm during the Home Study (it is a little nerve-racking being interviewed by someone who sort of holds your future in their hands). Please pray for our future little girl- that she is safe and that she is being taken good care of and that God is preparing her heart to come home with us someday.

Thank you for all your support! We'll let you know how it goes.

So...

2008-07-28T18:25:00.003-07:00

Alright, I know it's been a while. For a while, there really was nothing to post. But then, the optimist in me was just putting off this post since there really isn't any good news per se. (I like to post happy things that make people glad that they took the time to read this, but instead we'll just need you to pray for us for the time being. It will be worth your time in the end!) Anyway, here's the update.

We finally got all the paperwork from my idiotic doctor's office. We sent in a packet of paperwork a few weeks ago that we thought would be all we needed to set up our home study update. Of course, we should just stop thinking things because we are always wrong. It turns out that we do need our fingerprints re-done for the home study and we got those going last week. (We thought we just needed them for the dossier-part of the paperwork, so we weren't focused on them quite yet). So that's all in, but of course there is yet another hang up...

Two Wednesdays ago John went in to work and found out that he had been let go. Not because he's a bad employee or anything, but his company hasn't been doing so well and this was the second round of lay-offs. People have expressed their condolences when they hear, but it really wasn't the worst thing in the world. He really liked his boss and another guy there, but he didn't feel there was too much room for influence and his creativity was limited in that setting. Even the night before we had been talking about what to do for the future since this wasn't really the setting he wanted to be in the rest of his life. Well, I guess God agreed!

So, now it's time to figure out what's next for him. The ultimate goal is for John to make enough that I can quit working once our Ethiopian princess comes home. But what is that? Please pray that we would make wise decisions and that God would make our path very clear on what we are supposed to do now. And if you wanted to ask him that whatever it is, that it does not include me working at Geico the rest of my life, that would be great.

How this affects the adoption? We're not sure exactly, but I'm hoping not too much. We will have to re-fill out our financial form of course, but when we started this process, John didn't have a job and we still meed the financial requirements with my income.

So, that about brings you current. Eventually I will be bringing good news, but it may still be a while. Thanks again for all your support and love through this process. We do not doubt that we are on the right path, it's just a little longer than we anticipated.

Should You Be Worried About Competence At Your Doctor's Office?

2008-06-10T17:30:00.003-07:00

Okay, so it's been a little while since my last post. I'd love to be able to tell you that we've got everything figured out and we're getting done with paperwork. Unfortunately, it's just not true. It turns out that even if you have done all of this once before, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is going to run any smoother. Silly me for being optimistic! :)

Since my last update, I have been to the doctor's office many, many times, like 8. I'm not sick and they didn't find anything wrong with me. It just seems that God is teaching me patience right now and I'm trying to deal with it gracefully. I had to go for my physical, then I had to go back to get my blood drawn (because the day I was there for my physical the lab was closed because someone had come in with the measles), then I got my TB test administered and then went back for my 'girl' physical. However, it was too soon to read my TB test at that same appointment (even though the girl who was scheduling me said I could do it at the same time), so I went back later that day to get the TB test read. You would have thought I could have gotten my paperwork signed and notarized at that visit, but you would be wrong. The notary only works certain hours and they don't necessarily coincide with the doctor's vacation schedule. Then, due to certain miscommunications, I have since been up there on 3, yes 3, separate occasions to pick up my paperwork and I still do not have it!

The final straw for even me, the patient person that I am, was yesterday when I got a message from my physician's assistant. "Yes, Emily, the notary and the doctor are both here today and you should be able to pick up your paperwork anytime after 1:30." Great, Awesome! Finally! So we went yesterday evening to pick it up (of course, this would have to be after the notary had left for the day) and surprise! It is not done. They try to tell me this story about how the notary couldn't sign it that day because she needed to see my ID and write it in her book. I tried to explain the very nice waiting room attendant, Mary, that it is not my signature that needs to be notarized, therefore, not my ID that she needs to see. But of course Mary knows nothing about it and has no power there, so I left again frustrated. Honestly, I want to have faith in my doctor's office, but I think they just forgot about it. When will I get my one piece of paper that says that I am medically capable of raising a child?

I called the notary at the office today to explain to her why she did not need to see my ID and that she needs to notarize the doctor's signature. When I spoke with her, she knew it all already. Of course she doesn't need to see my ID, she tells me. They get things mixed up in that office. She notarized my paperwork this morning. I should be able to pick it up tomorrow after work. I would have gone today, but our car is broken (a whole other story) and I have to pick John up from work. So, if you read this before tomorrow afternoon, please pray that they haven't lost my beautiful, notarized, completed medical form and we can be one step closer to ADOPTION!!!

My Doctor's Visit

2008-05-25T16:21:00.003-07:00

Thank you all for your support and encouragement after my last blog! I know our community supports us and is praying for us and our little girl. (And yes Carol- your comment did make me smile).

A quick update for you all. After my blog a few weeks ago, Jenn was thoughtful enough to give us the name and number of her doctor's office. We were both seen last week and our labs and blood tests should be back this week. The office does have a notary there (our last did not) and we should have all the needed paperwork back on Thursday when I go for my last appointment. This was a huge prayer request, so thank you all! We are currently working on the rest of our paperwork so that we can mail it in to our social worker. She needs our packet back before she can schedule our home study update.

When I was at the doctor's on Thursday, he was going through my medical history, asking me about past diseases and surgeries and current medications. When he finally connected the fact that he was preparing our adoption medical form, with the fact that I am also on birth control, he looked at me kinda funny. I knew what he was thinking, so I didn't make him ask the question. I just simply said, "We just want to adopt." I think sometimes it is hard for people to understand that we would want to adopt when we have no idea whether we can have biological children or not. I wasn't offended, but maybe he (and others that know us better) can see the love of Christ through us in this decision and throughout this process. (My last doctor didn't ever ask us, but her parents were missionaries to Africa and she spent much of her life there).

If you could continue to pray for us and our daughter, that would be wonderful. We need continued diligence in completing the paperwork. We are very excited to get things rolling, but sometimes when there is a mound of paperwork waiting for us, it is too overwhelming. And this leads to a bit of procrastination... Please pray that things would run smoothly at this point and that we would continue to trust and have patience. We love you all and thank you for loving us back!!!

My Mat

2008-05-15T17:22:00.004-07:00

So, last night John and I had the pleasure of speaking with our new social worker, Johanna (silent H). We've been emailing back and forth for the last several weeks and I have spoken with her on the phone once, but this was much more lengthy. We really like her and I feel much better than in the past that she will help us complete our paperwork. She actually seems to care whether we get a baby and acts like our adoption is important to her.

That being said, we have to do a lot of paperwork over. I mean a lot. Like almost everything. So, that's a bit discouraging. As a positivity guru, part of me says, "Well, at least we know what we're doing this time, so it should go much faster," and, "We are in a much better place financially than we were a year ago (with John's salary), so we will look better on paper," etc. Those things are true, but I don't know if that is God's reason for all this delay or not. Perhaps our baby just isn't ready yet... but I know we are.

The truth is, this has been one of the hardest years of our lives already, and I hope that it doesn't continue on for another whole year. The adoption wasn't all that contributed to this year being hard, but it was definitely a part of it. So, alright Angel, here goes for the bearing of Emily's soul for all to read. (I don't do this very often, but I'm assured it will be therapeutic and good reading for the rest of you).

John and I chose this road. We have never tried to conceive a child, so that is not a reason for our adoption. We knew before we got married that this was the path we were supposed to take. And we have not faltered in that decision. We knew this path would be difficult and different and we are totally okay with that. And I have never begrudged anyone the choices they made. I just want to let you all know that before I go on. Because I feel alone in this decision a lot (I say "I" not because I'm excluding John, but because I don't necessarily want to speak for him). I know that our community supports us in this decision and that you are all praying for us, but it's the part of really understanding what we are going through that's different. When a member of my community gets pregnant, all the other women who have ever been pregnant sit around and talk about what that experience is like (a lot). They give advise and warnings and they can truly appreciate the joy of feeling a first kick, etc. But we don't have that (especially a visual reminder). I feel I have to explain the adoption language to people, something I don't really understand myself very well. Very few people have felt what we are feeling right now.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about my friends or family or anything. It's just that sometimes the road less traveled is a lonely one. I feel like because we chose this path deliberately, I'm not allowed to complain or be upset. If someone is having a hard time conceiving, people can understand that. It's not their fault. But I feel that just by making this choice, we have lost our right to be frustrated or something. "If we really wanted a kid, we could just have one the regular way." And I know that statement is true. But then there's a small Ethiopian girl waiting for a family that will never come get her because they didn't want to wait, or fill out another financial form, or get another background check. There has been a little girl growing in my heart for the last 15 months and I don't want to give up now. Someone who gets pregnant doesn't give up on their baby and I don't want to either. (And I can only imagine how a woman would feel if she was pregnant for 15 months!)

But it doesn't make the wait any easier. No one would ever say to a couple having problems conceiving, "You're so lucky you don't have kids yet," or, "At least Mother's Day doesn't affect you." (Both have been said to us recently). We want a child as much as anyone else and we want the one that is meant for us and we feel that she is in an orphanage in Ethiopia. So we will wait and we will pray and we will try to be patient some more. But if you all could wait and pray and be patient with us, that would be really helpful. Because we might have chosen this mat, but I feel like we need some help carrying it. Thanks for loving us through this, we appreciate all of you that pray. I know that God hears you, so speak as loud as you want in the next few months!

New Prayer Requests

2008-05-08T17:17:00.002-07:00

We got an email from our new social worker on Tuesday. She got the home study and the certification (yeah!). She had already let us know that we would have to do an update for the home study, but I guess we didn't realize what all that was going to entail. I was a little disappointed when I saw the list of things to redo. We have to get new background checks, new physicals, a new home visit, new employment verifications and new Child Protective Services documents. It makes sense because we did all of this about a year ago when we did our first home study, but I guess I didn't realize it would all need to be redone.

Please pray that we would be able to get this done quickly.
Please pray that we would find a new doctor soon since the one that did our last physical is no longer practicing.
Please pray that God would provide a notary to go to the doctor with us (again). All of the medical forms have to be notarized.
Please pray that everyone else that we count on (our employers, the county) would do their pieces of this quickly.

Thanks again for praying! As you can see, we really need it. We love you for being interested in our lives and supporting us in this adventure.

What's Going On Right Now?

2008-05-04T07:10:00.003-07:00

Okay, I will not be posting on this thing everyday or anything, so you can all breathe a sigh of relief! It's just that my first post didn't really give an update of what was going on in the adoption process. We really do need some prayer right now, so I thought I would fill you all in and ask that you guys remember us in your prayers. I'll start from the beginning, but I'll try to be short and sweet.

In February 2007, John and I started the process to adopt a little girl from India. Shortly after we completed the initial application and got approved, we found out that India changed their adoption laws and we no longer qualified to adopt from that country (we are not old enough). We quickly changed our paperwork to adopt a little girl from Ethiopia. We spent the next 9 months or so filling out paperwork, visiting with social workers, collecting birth and marriage certificates, getting background checks, getting physicals and generally showing everyone that we were financially, emotionally, spiritually and physically ready to take care of an orphan from across the world.

Around Thanksgiving last year, the adoption agency that we had been working with told us that their channels to place children from Ethiopia might be falling through and they were working on getting things fixed. After Christmas, they made it official and told us that they could no longer place children from Ethiopia. If we wanted to continue the process, we would have to find another agency to work with. Many people ask me if we could have changed countries. The answer to that is yes, but we would have had to start over from the beginning. Each country is different in what they require and all of our paperwork was Ethiopia specific. Plus, we didn't really want to pick another country. We had spent the last 10-11 months in this mind set and we have gotten attached to the idea of a little girl from Ethiopia.

We found another agency to work with (one that has a social worker here in Tucson) and started the paperwork with them. We filled out their initial application and had our old agency send our paperwork to them to review. We were hoping it would be a smooth transition and that we would be almost done with this chunk of the process. It turns out, I was being a little optimistic.

We found out about a month ago that the home study we had completed with our previous social worker had never been returned by our county's court system (a requirement for the state of Arizona). Our new social worker told us last week that if we didn't get it back soon, we would most likely have to redo our entire home study (an expensive part of the process). She also didn't really know how much of our other paperwork we would have to redo.

Well, we heard from our new social worker on Friday and they received the paperwork back from the county that they needed! This is a very good thing since now we won't have to redo the home study. We will have to do an update, which means that the new social worker will come to our house to check us out since it has been a year since we met with the previous social worker. She is sending the rest of our paperwork (called our dossier- pronounced dos-ee-ey) to our case worker in Virginia to review. She will let us know what else we need to redo. So, that's where we are now.

Prayer:
Please pray that as much of our paperwork as possible will transfer over. It took us a long time to get everything together and we would like to move to the next stage of the process.

Please pray that anything that we need to redo would be done quickly with no delays.

Pray that we would be very proactive from this point on. Sometimes John and I don't like to push people and that has caused some delays in the past. Pray that we would be bold for our little girl!

Pray for our little girl in Ethiopia. She is most likely already born and waiting for us. Pray that she would attach and bond with someone taking care of her to ease the bonding process with us. Pray for protection and good health and that God would be shaping her to fit in our family perfectly.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I will try to do this more regularly so that it's not so long next time. We love you all and thank you so much for your support during this long and rough process! We could not do this without you.

A Pile of Cake®

2008-05-03T15:33:00.000-07:00

Many people know that my husband's favorite food is cake. (Some people laugh at this, but I find it endearing. How many adults are truthful enough to admit that a dessert is their favorite food?) The other day, John really wanted a cake, so after unsuccessfully begging me to make him a cake, he decided to try it himself. Now, John is a really good chef. In the almost five years we have been married, he has learned the art of making an amazing dinner. But I am the baker in the family and cake was uncharted territory for him.

So he greased the pan, he preheated the oven, he mixed the cake mix (yes, from a box) and the eggs and the oil and by the time it was done baking, it looked and smelled like a wonderful cake. It wasn't overcooked, it was perfect. This was something my mom would have been proud of... Until he tried to remove it from the pan. This is when disaster struck. You see, John didn't know he really should have greased and floured the pan because the box didn't tell him to do that. It's a trick newbies don't know. When he flipped the cake over to remove it from the 9x13, the middle fell out and the edges stayed in. So, we were left with something we dubbed immediately as "A Pile of Cake®". (John is so fond of this term that he insisted we trademark it- another quirky, endearing trait).

Now some people might have been upset by this, and to be honest, if I had needed it for a birthday or something, I would have been one of those people. But since we didn't have any frosting anyway, we just ate it as it was, in bowls. And it was delicious- still warm from the oven, moist, and heavenly.

Why am I equating this story with our adoption, you may ask? Well, I'm not that great at metaphors or anything, but I think this is a great metaphor for what we are going through right now. We've been on the journey of adoption now for over 15 months and while we started out expecting the unexpected, you really can't expect the unexpected. It has taken longer than we thought and there have been turns we didn't see coming. We thought we were going to adopt from India before that country changed their adoption criteria. We thought John would get offered a permanent job sooner than he did. We thought that we'd have a baby by now. But we hold on to faith that even though things aren't happening in our timing or in the way we thought they would, it will still be a great, wonderful outcome in the end when we have our Ethiopian princess. So even though we started this process imagining a perfectly shaped 9x13 cake, I think we might like the Pile of Cake® we end up with even better.